Uninspired
I'm feeling less inspired today. I guess I was very gung ho last week because I'd gone to see a motivational speaker. The motivation is starting to wear off. Sigh.
Talked to my guitar teacher - asked him if he has any other students that want to "Jam" (I don't think I'm at the jamming level yet, so I think I phrased it more as "do you think any other of your students would want to play with me?").
He has one other fairly new student - he might ask her, I left him to think about whether we would be compatible. Apparently she also asked to learn how to play Babylon by David Gray this week - ha ha, I already know that one.
Regarding the comment from my last entry - perhaps I should volunteer. I have commitment issues and fears. It's easy to contemplate a hobby where I'm just doing my own thing that I can pick up at will. I worry about volunteering for an organization, getting too involved and not being able to quit.
Take my voice lessons (starting in about half an hour). I started these about a year and a half ago. Someone bought me two free lessons at a silent auction - I used them (otherwise that would have been wasteful!) I continue to go because I can't really bear to tell my teacher that I'm quitting. This week he signed me up for a recital. I really really don't want to go anymore, but I can't think of a good enough excuse to quit. I am improving, I seem to be good at singing, but having a voice lesson every Friday after work really sucks.
When I think about volunteering, I think about all the other people involved - just think how many people I would have to tell I'm quitting if it doesn't work out. I have contemplated doing one on one mentoring - that seems good, but there's that whole commitment to someone issue. What if I end up not liking the person? I'm starting to get all anxious just thinking about it.
I really am narrowing down the hobby options. I might have to think hard about my commitment issues.
Watched the Motorcycle Diaries this week. Wow. It's amazing how your life path can change from one event. My partner told me this week that he wants to quit, buy Vespas, travel to South America (ok - he's an extremely paranoid person - not sure if he'll do well in South America) and learn spanish. I seriously considered it for a moment - I mean, why the heck not? What is stopping me? So I burn through my savings (I think that's what's stopping me). But really, I could do it. I don't have any commitments (see - another reason not to volunteer), and if I run out of money I can come back and get a job. I know my partner's mom would let us live with her.
I could - I could quit. But I won't. Cause I'm a chicken and I have a high corporate pain threshold (I learned that in my motivation course last week).
So, I haven't made much progress this week. Although some people have already noticed my self-confidence has improved (did I mention that I joined Toastmasters?)
posted by Renee @ 4:11 PM
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